wannabelyn (wannabelyn) wrote,

  • Mood:

A big no

Checked my email and caught the preview of the email that elicited a huge 'NoooooOoooOOoooOO..." followed by 'WHYYyyyyYYyyyyyyyyyyyy..." from me so loud that it startled Booffy.

It went along the lines of "congratulations, we have approval from management..."

I applied for a job and I got it, so I should be happy, RIGHT? I'm not feeling a tinge of elation. Ungrateful much?

I've always suspected that the wires in my brains are slightly crossed. I've left the email unread, I'll just pace myself and read the email later tonight.

While I was having my shower earlier today I couldn't help but wonder what idiot would turn down a more senior role? Scrap that, I will honestly say that having more money is more important to me right now, which I turned down as a result of wanting a less senior role for now.

Where did my guts go? It's hiding somewhere behind the fear of failure and my reluctance to be stressed.

I watched 'Under the Tuscan Sun' 1.5 times (not my first time) on HBO this month. What a dream, dropping everything and moving to some place so beautiful and laid-back. If Ipoh were Tuscany, I'd truly feel blessed right now. I am quite conscious that Hollywood has a way of making things, scenarios, places seem more than what they are. I know first hand after being to New Orleans and New York that reality can be quite different from how Hollywood portrays it.

Tags: life, work
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